Breastfeeding Adelita

She loves it.
I love it.

We've been doing it from the moment she was born.

My body was made to do this.

I missed this with Dylan. I breastfed him but it was not the same as it is with my girl.

I lost my confidence in the hospital with terribly rough and unsympathetic midwives who forced him on me and told me my nipples were flat.

Second time around I had lovely midwives who let me do it myself and only helped if I asked. They gave me my confidence back by leaving me alone.

I don't remember what he did when he breastfed and what his face looked like or what noises he made and that breaks my heart.

I want to remember my girl and I feeding.

I want to do this forever but will try for two years. I lasted 19 months with Dylan but by then he was only having one feed in the morning.

We used nipple shields, EBM and formula with Dylan.

I have used only EBM with Adelita a couple of times.

Adelita has a breastfeeding face it is different to her everyday face. It is peaceful, relaxed and content.

Her noises range from that sculling noise, to slurping, to murmuring contently.

Oh and she does lots of lovely smiles at me when she pulls off the nipple sometimes leaving me exposed for all the world to see but I don't care. If she isn't smiling at me she studies me, my face.

I was so uptight about feeding Dylan if I did it in public which was rare I covered up. I don't do that anymore I try to be a bit discreet but not too much.

How sad that I was ashamed and embarassed by such a natural and essential thing.

I did still enjoy feeding Dylan despite some issues and I know he enjoyed it too because when I weaned him, he still wanted to keep going, I really should have let him dictate when he stopped but I am not going to beat myself up about it.

I am love love loving this and think Adelita does too.

Love my breastfeeding children.

Four months old.

Well my little beauty you are now four months old and today you discovered you can grab things off mummy or daddy and put them in your mouth or shake them around madly this is a skill you are loving, I can tell from the gleam in your eye when you are doing it and the look of pure concentration tells me it is not random but on purpose. I felt sad for you though when you hit your self in the head with a toy a couple of times and cried with shock that something so fun could also hurt you. Also anything we put near your mouth be it a toy a tissue my nose Dylan's hands you try to put them in your mouth. Daddy and I think you have been trying to say Mama too which gives me a great thrill, for Dada was your big brothers first word. I am loving the flirting you are doing with mummy too, it is happening mostly when you are in my arms after a feed you look at me and I make you smile and then you look away all coy and then look back all serious and I make you smile and it goes on and it is so so cute and special, I love it. I changed the pram over yesterday which made me feel a bit sad that you are growing up so fast so it is now the pusher and the bassinet has been put away not that you went in it much anyway my sling baby. It makes me sad not so much beacuse you are growing up quickly but more so that you may be my last baby and the baby stage is so fleeting. I must admit though I have been buying you clothes in a size 2 because I have many 0's and 1's so I am starting to get some cute things for you to grow into. Anyway that is enough of an update for now. Just wanted you to know that I adore you Adelita. PS I also adore you big brother Dylan.