Breastfeeding Adelita

She loves it.
I love it.

We've been doing it from the moment she was born.

My body was made to do this.

I missed this with Dylan. I breastfed him but it was not the same as it is with my girl.

I lost my confidence in the hospital with terribly rough and unsympathetic midwives who forced him on me and told me my nipples were flat.

Second time around I had lovely midwives who let me do it myself and only helped if I asked. They gave me my confidence back by leaving me alone.

I don't remember what he did when he breastfed and what his face looked like or what noises he made and that breaks my heart.

I want to remember my girl and I feeding.

I want to do this forever but will try for two years. I lasted 19 months with Dylan but by then he was only having one feed in the morning.

We used nipple shields, EBM and formula with Dylan.

I have used only EBM with Adelita a couple of times.

Adelita has a breastfeeding face it is different to her everyday face. It is peaceful, relaxed and content.

Her noises range from that sculling noise, to slurping, to murmuring contently.

Oh and she does lots of lovely smiles at me when she pulls off the nipple sometimes leaving me exposed for all the world to see but I don't care. If she isn't smiling at me she studies me, my face.

I was so uptight about feeding Dylan if I did it in public which was rare I covered up. I don't do that anymore I try to be a bit discreet but not too much.

How sad that I was ashamed and embarassed by such a natural and essential thing.

I did still enjoy feeding Dylan despite some issues and I know he enjoyed it too because when I weaned him, he still wanted to keep going, I really should have let him dictate when he stopped but I am not going to beat myself up about it.

I am love love loving this and think Adelita does too.

Love my breastfeeding children.